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Fucked Me Up

by Clarence James

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1.
She strays away, misplaced and open Had a full plate, my heart was broken That girl and her fake emotions Had me goin crazy, I'll make the most of it These chains my grief was holdin These lazy days from night till mornin Slept all day, stretch n yawn and now im Lying face first on the floor Tryna lock every open door I'm just Crying my eyes so sore Inside my heart was tore but no my Chest empty, hollow core and now Life can be such a bore when you're Lying face first on the floor She said we're no more But she can't be sure (I cant be sure) She said she was confused She don't feel the same And I don't wanna take that heart emoji outta her contact name I'm all washed up I feel so lame Wash me up and remove these stains You know I love how you use me babe Just don't bruise me babe Abuse my name Humiliated shame Just look how far we came
2.
Is there anyone that you can shed a tear to Is there anyone that shows you that they care Is there anyone that tells you that they need you Someone that makes you smile when life ain't fair Is there someone that lays with you when its dark out Is there someone that can keep you from the cold And are they still lying with you when the sun comes up And will they be lying with you when you're old Cause you need someone to hold you when you're crying And keep you company when no one's there And she looks at me and says theres no denying That the one for me is standing right here I need you I need you And I hope you know its true And I hope you need me too I need you She's sitting laughing, she's nervous I ask her in a whisper, whats so funny She's smiling, I lean over and kiss her Where'd my heart go, I lost it I don't know where to find it That's my baby, she's got it She holds it in her pocket Think she knows it, I love her I put no one above her Tried to tell her, I stutter My face is gaining color And I don't want any other I hope we'll always have eachother Because I need someone to hold me when I'm crying And keep me company when no one's there And I look at her and see theres no denying That the one for me is standing right here I need you I need you And I hope you know its true And I hope you need me too I need you Not just anyone yeah Not just anyone yeah Not just anyone yes Not just anyone yes Oh not just anyone yes Not just anyone yeaah Not just anyone yeah yeah Not just anyone yeah yeah yeah
3.
So Cold 03:10
My thoughts misguided by the things that i realize i should've paid no mind Every second goes by, it gets the best of me every time And you're so cold on the outside, I open my mouth and Nothing seems to come out right And you're so warm on the inside Only depends, my my Look where we're at my dear oh no I gotta get us outta here This kinda place could make our love disappear But I don't, don't wanna shed another tear You're filling me with despair, it ain't fair I know you don't really care She's so cold that I froze She never loved me it was just a little lie that she told herself And i don't think she knows (she don't) I do but how's it supposed to help me now that I'm alone I should've been on my own, I should've been on my own You didn't think that i was in control, I thought so But now I feel the ground is so cold You ask me if the pains still there I said no But you can see through flesh to my bone Now they're asking if it hurts Well only if you touch it, almost like it never happened at all Now you're asking how it happened But that don't really matter at all... at all
4.
Fucked Me Up 03:42
Stuck with a stupid face I'm dazed I don't know what to do right now Onto another phase, these lonely days and nights soon to run out My head and my heart you had a place You burned those places to the ground What have we learned What have you found I hope you had fun Fucking me up Tearing me down You were the one i chose to trust With all of my love Look where we are now (guitar solo) I put you on a pedestal so far up in my mind The thoughts of you betraying me were oh so far behind All those thoughts that you had planted Made me love you more than life The image of the beauty now is oh so hard to find And I try you know i try I should've given up the fight Ain't no winning for me now you know i can't do nothin right I never saw it coming really hit me from behind You really hit me from behind I hope you had fun Fucking me up Tearing me down You were the one i chose to trust With all of my love Look where we are now I hope you had fun Fucking me up Tearing me down You were the one i chose to trust With all of my love Look where we are now (guitar solo)
5.
But Naw 03:48
Thats just how it goes I guess i sh-shouldn’t have known About those lies u told It would be best Best for us both Cause when I think I’ve grown I see I’m still not close I’m just a troubled soul And it probably shows I can’t do this She makes It hurt And she feels bad This pain feels worse I’m selfish She knows for sure And It's so sad So insecure But she don’t care keeps saying she does I don’t feel that Might be because I can’t see her She don’t wanna be seen And that’s okay I don’t wanna be mean But naw This ain’t really working for me Tryna talk it out but it isn’t adding up at all It doesn’t make sense Why is she changing Naw, is this how you want it to be Bitches getting in our business and they’re fucking with me And everybody playin games that I won’t play It’s not okay okay And to the people that were coming at me sideways I don’t give a shit bout what you say U blatantly lied My mind isn’t anxious Intuition running round the things that don't make sense Should’ve known when she got them bangs she was changing That’s my mistake, They’re always the same Sorry I’m just talking out my mind It’s that fake shit Really It’s my ego that ain't me tho I ain't say it My brain won’t behave and I’m constantly pacing Lot of wrong moves I was making But naw This ain’t really working for me Tryna talk it out but it isn’t adding up at all It doesn’t make sense Why is she changing Naw, is this how you want it to be Bitches getting in our business and they’re fucking with me And everybody playing games that I won’t play It’s not okay okay And to the people that were coming at me sideways I don’t give a shit bout what you say Sick of getting so down I don’t know what to figure out Sick of running my mouth When she’s not making a sound Wish I could talk to a friend I wish that she was around I’m sick of being in crowds having to cover my frown I wish that she even cared What am I supposed to do now Thought that she would to be here when everything went south wish she never said the things she was lying about But naw
6.
Is something wrong my dear Do you have hope for me I think i need it here There isn’t anything There’s nothing wrong my dear And I assure you so There’s nothing you should fear There’s nothing you don’t know There’s something wrong my dear I don’t know what’s got into you Everything you said isn’t true Everything that I thought I knew You know you made me a fool You know you made me an idiot And now I feel like a fool Ya know I feel like an idiot The way u laugh at me In all my misery Smiling happily Where is your sympathy I wish u cared my dear I wish that I could see How much better Better off I’d be I don’t know what to do You don’t know what to say What is it that you Are fiending for today Is it another one Took your heart away Why’d you let him Why’d you stay Well I think you’ve had enough of me I know I’ve had enough of me Worrying about those things you do Oh well I think I’ve had enough of me I know you’ve had enough of me Worrying about those things you do Oh you made me a fool You know you made me an idiot And now I feel like a fool I feel like an idiot
7.
She’s got a face like a bouquet Look at her smile it wilts And slowly fades away And it took a while to acknowledge it but I made her cry Don’t know how I’m gonna find the balls to sleep alone tonight Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than I am Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than you are Make me better All of the misery I bring All of these ugly things, these broken parts of me A lot of things that I regret now Can’t blame nobody else It makes me kick myself I wish someone could help To make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than I am Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than you are Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than I am Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than you are Cause I No I Can’t change Can’t make it all okay No faith oh i just don’t wanna wait for another day Hit me with it all in the face You know I care what you say Deserving every blow I take Just don’t wanna make another stupid mistake Another stupid mistake Just make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than I am Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than you are Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than I am Make me better Make me better oh yah Make me better than you are
8.
I wish that I could tell you something When you’re asking why But you were yelling you were cussin So I put on my disguise I’m turning everything to nothing I’m keeping everything inside Cause you ain’t getting what you wanted It ain’t no tears inside my eyes I don’t want you to tell me when you’re thinkin of me I get so angry when I’m thinking bout you And I don't know why you say you love me It really doesn’t feel like you do I could talk but you never listen Just doin what you want to do It could be different but it isn’t It isn't It isn't Everything feels different, it doesn’t mean that I hate you Though I think you want me to Making decisions I don’t think all the way through I’m so sorry if they turned you blue And if I end up tryna tell u something that ain’t true I know that ain’t too cool I just don’t want you always overthinking the way that I know you do I’m sorry I don't care about you See now I'm living without second guessing You can always hate me if you have too I don’t think you’ll ever learn your lesson You’re lesson And I don’t want you to tell me when you’re thinking of me I get so angry when I’m thinking bout you And I don't know why you say you love me It really doesn’t feel like you do I could talk but u never listened Just doin what u wanna do It could be different But it isn’t It isn't It isn't It isn't It’s not
9.
In The End 03:15
It’s easy for me To wake in the morning so negative Thoughts in my head that have made a big mess oh my friend It’s amazing to me how these friendships can end The end of the book there’s no pages to turn there's A lesson to learn, you’ll find everything Connect all those dots, it’s the universe messaging Testing your patience, It pressures so heavily But u can’t be so afraid See the future gets closer every day Every moment the moment just isn’t there to stay Oh it all has to come to an end such a shame when It all has to come to an end It’s so easy to say It's not easy to do it’s a part of you Body and soul oh I know that that mark has been made Though your heart may be gray Try to tuck that pain away You’ll see how it stays Oh it won’t go away, how’d did u feel today Did u realize the nonsense Oh you’re not alone with that I'd be your a constant Your greatest companion Without understanding But u can’t be so afraid See the future gets closer every day Every moment the moment just isn’t there to stay Oh it all has to come to an end Such a shame when It all has to come to an end In the end It’s always the same in the end In the end In the end It’s always okay in the end
10.
Forget 01:37
Had to let it go I really really really didn't wanna do it no I'm better on my own Though I can't forget it all I'm really really really really trying to Forget about you You saw the worst of me I saw the worst of you You saw the best of me I saw the best of you too I guess I I don't want to forget I don't want to forget I can't I can't I can't forget

credits

released June 19, 2020

Written/Composed/Produced: Clarence James
Drumming: Hayden Havard
Drummer, ("But Naw"): Isaac Pulido
Mixing/Mastering: Ryan White

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Clarence James Austin, Texas

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